


Totally Dope 90s Klaine Week

by hazelandglasz



Category: E.R., Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 1990s, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 12:39:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4349153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazelandglasz/pseuds/hazelandglasz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>4 fics placing Kurt and Blaine in the 1990s ^^</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hot Drinks

> **_☮[T.H.O](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tho&defid=9011) Tuesday ☮ : [INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEOS! ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGYcNcFhctc)Have you guys ever seen those dry/hard to watch instructional videos? Have you ever imagined if kurt or blaine had to do one of those?? WELL IMAGINE NO MORE! Why are these boys doing these videos? are they so desperate for their big break that this is what it comes to? WHO KNOWS! i wanna see what you guys come up with! (it it can be ANY instructional/employee vid as long as it’s from the 90s!) _ **

Blaine is practically vibrating in his dark shirt, and if Kurt wasn’t so afraid of the ridicule that is going to pursue them for the years to come, he would find it adorable.

And hot.

Honest to God, that is not a pun.

But even if the coffee they are pouring is hot–way too hot, if someone bothered to ask for his opinion, and disgusting–Kurt is not about to leave Blaine to fend for himself.

He would never dip his boo.

And it’s not just a matter of making bones.

“From the top,” the director yells, and it startles Kurt so badly that he almost pours the coffee on his hand.

The music for Blaine’s choreography starts, and Kurt takes the time to admire the silhouette of his boyfriend on that damn red background.

Boy knows how to shake his thing, that’s for sure.

At least Mercedes is there too, and she managed to snatch the singing portion of the video.

If that performance doesn’t put her on the map of a certain Mr. Quincy, Kurt will eat his Wendy’s cap.

“Hot drinks, really gets you goii-iin’,” Kurt sings along as he manages to put the cover on the cup for the 21st time while Blaine keeps on dancing by the counter.

“A smile and have a nice daaay, woo!” Mercedes sings, and Kurt wants to clap for Blaine nailing that MJ pose.

Except that he still has that damn coffee pot in his hands, so, no clapping.

“And cut!” the director yells again, rolling towards them. “Congratulations, people, you’re on your way to stardom.”

“Thanks Artie,” Mercedes says with a wide smile before turning to Kurt. “Thank you for not messing up my scenes,” she whispers with her soft smile.

Kurt pulls her cap lower on her head. “You’re welcome, milady.”

Mercedes giggles, arranging the cap to the side to give it more flair. “And congrats on your boo.”

Kurt knows that he smiles like a fart-knocker, but he couldn’t care less.

“Good Lord you’re fargone on him.”

“Yep.”

“Even when he decides to wear those ridiculous high dunk sneaks?”

“Y–his what?”

“Your boy needs to stop thinking that he still has a chance at being the newest Muggsy Bogues,” Mercedes adds with a laugh.

“Blaine!”

“Yes honey?”

Kurt feels himself flush but he overcomes it. Score. “Are you wearing those fugly sneakers I told you to throw away?”

Blaine freezes and for a moment Kurt wants to let it go.

Only for a moment.

“Mayyyybe?”

“Blaine …”

“What? They’re dope stylin’!”

“Not on you, boo.”

Blaine’s self-righteous face melts away as he gets closer–and the moment would be sweet if his sneakers were not squeaking madly against the plastic floor. “I’m your boo, ain’t I?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Kurt sighs, letting Blaine pull him in a kiss. “My sweet NBA wannabe boo.”

“Wannaboo?”

“Don’t you dare, it was getting okay.”

—

Twenty years later

“So Blaine, how does it feel to be back in a dancing role?”

“It feels great to be singing and dancing, Conan, but this is my first dancing part.”

“Are you sure?”

“… Yes?”

“Really, really sure?”

A moment of silence on Blaine’s part, and Conan shares a smile with the audience. Particularly with Kurt, sitting in the front row and hiding his face with shaking shoulders.

“Y–oh no.”

The audience roars with laughter, and they don’t even know what Conan is talking about.

Yet.

“Conan don’t tell me–,” Blaine starts, laughing as he puts his hands over his face.

“Before we start the video, tell me Blaine, does the coffee still get you goin’?”

Blaine picks up his mug and takes a swig of it. “Still does the trick. Alright, let’s play it.”


	2. Step by Step

> **_☮ Wicked Wednesday ☮ : 90′s music videos~!!  I want you Put klaine in one of your favourite videos! Whatever the situation is is all up to you! Video boy,  camera man, au within the video, DOESN’T MATTER! Bonus points if you can find the most ridiculous video! *v*_ **

“Do whatever you want Puckerman, I’m the one riding that bike into the garage!”

“Oh man,” Puck whines, his turquoise shirt floating in the breeze. “And why would I let you?”

“My father’s garage, remember?”

Puck pouts, literally pouts at that, and Blaine steps forward to calm things down while Kurt goes to get the aforementioned bike. God knows that they need to record this video before sundown, and Puck can be a contradictory son of a bitch when he doesn’t get what he wants.

“You know what, bro, you can do the jump over the drums.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Bro.”

“Bro?”

“You love jumping around!”

Blaine smiles at him and pats his shoulder. “I do, but you do too, and it’s only fair that you get one shining moment.”

Puck beams at him and starts jumping on the spot to warm up. “Phat!”

Blaine smiles at him and goes to join Sam, Mike and Roderick on the side to rehearse their moment around the microphones.

“New Directions on the Block, are you ready?” the director calls, and they all turn towards him.

“Born ready!”

The sound of the engines momentarily covers the recorded music, but Blaine wouldn’t be able to hear it even if he had the music in his headphones.

Because Kurt is rolling in, on a bike, in a tight red shirt and his hair completely messed up.

“He’s so off the heasy,” he whispers to himself, but not quietly enough that his friends don’t catch it.

Mike and Sam start snickering at him, and a well placed elbow quickly calms them down.

“No, you’re right,” Mike says, putting his arm around Blaine’s shoulder, “our fearless leader does look goo-ood riding his machine.”

“Look at him driving it,” Sam adds, voice all dreamy, and seriously, Blaine does not need them. “All in control and sure and mussed by the wild winds …”

“Shut it.”

Blaine adjusts his overall and walks determinedly away from his so-called friends and their tempting words, towards the staircase where they’re going to have their complex choreography.

Not as complex as the one on stage, but the danger and the thrill of the need for balance on the stairs unless they want to all end up in a broken pile at the bottom is pulling all of Blaine’s concentration.

Good thing Kurt is behind him, and that Roderick is supposed to be between them; otherwise Blaine is fairly certain that he would forget all about it and just jump his friend and band leader like a dog in heat.

 _“Step by step, oh, baby, really want you in my world,_ ” they lip-sync, and slide back towards the microphones.

Perfect unison.

Blaine contains the sound of glee that threatens to escape–he does not squeal, thank you very much–and keeps the choreography up.

“Improvise a little move, each of you,” the director calls over the music, and Blaine puts his hands on his hips, rolling them and having fun.

Looking to the side, he can see Kurt shimmying his shoulders while looking at him and God only knows what possesses him, but Blaine … winks.

It will probably look good for the video, playing the part of the flirty singer, but he knows, he hopes, that Kurt knows that it was for him.

The flush on Kurt’s neck when he straightens up the collar of his jacket–such a Don Johnson, cue swooning–gives Blaine the sensation that he did.

 _“Step by step!_ ”

(It’s the last part of the video’s choreography that tips Kurt over to Blaine’s awaiting arms, what with the thrusting and the blocking and the suits–how was he supposed to resist?) 


	3. Mother's Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I picked E.R. because it’s one of the first shows I watched in English (!!!), and i realized only recently that I used to ship Susan and Carter ^^

> **_☮ Trill Thursday ☮ : T.V shows! Pick a t.v show you love from the 90s,  Klaine is now a part of that world! how exciting!! This also includes cartoons, in case you were a baby thing like me and had no interest in boring adult shows >:D (you don’t have to remember anything from the 90s either! look up some shows, have a blast!)_   
>  **

“Kurt I can’t do this!”

Kurt exchanges a look with Blaine who is trying to adjust his tie after Quinn nearly choked him with it when they arrived at the E.R.

“Sure you can do this,” he says, appeasing, putting on a gown with Mercedes’ help. “Keep breathing, and we’ll get through. And we have Blaine with us, right Blaine?”

Blaine gulps whatever nerves he might have had and nods while Quinn mumbles, “What is it with you people and breathing?”

“Come on, Quinn, blow. Right through the pain,” Blaine says, putting his hands on her shoulders to give her some comfort.

“Where is my music?” Quinn wails through a contraction.

Kurt gestures towards the boombox and Blaine fumbles with the bag until he manages to pull a tape out.

“ _Comme le trèfle à quatre feuilles, je cherche votre bonheur._

_Je suis l'homme qui tombe à pic… pour prendre ton cœur._

_Il faut se tenir à carreaux …_ ”

“No, not that one!” Quinn yells before screaming in pain.

“Is that French?” Blaine mumbles.

Kurt counts the time between contractions. “Seven… eight… nine… ten. Come on, Quinn.”

“That’s the wrong tape,” Quinn pants out, “where is ‘Blackbird’?”

“Blaine, it’s the White Album tape,” Kurt points out, and Blaine takes the millisecond to give him a pointed look.

Like he doesn’t know that.

He resumes looking through the whole bag, dumping its contents on the floor to find the tape but not to avail.

“Dammit,” he grits out, returning next to Quinn to offer his hand in support.

Mercedes is between Quinn’s legs, watching over the baby’s crowning, and she bops her head in time with Kurt’s counting. “You’re doing great, Quinn,” she says, as joyfully as she can.

Kurt does all he can to stay calm. “Come on Quinn, you’re doing great. Just a little bit more. Another contraction. Okay, push. One… two… three… four …”

“Sing for me, Kurt,” Quinn says softly, tears rolling down her face.

Kurt looks up, towards Mercedes, towards Blaine, and Blaine frowns.

 _Together_ , Kurt mouths and Blaine nods, a small smile appearing on his face.

“ _Blackbird singing in the dead of night,_

_Take these broken wings and learn to fly,_

_All your life …_ ”

Quinn breathes through a contraction and Mercedes pats her knee.

Kurt steps closer to his sister. “Come on Quinn, sing with us?”

Quinn huffs a breath, and Blaine immediately presses a compress to her forehead.

With a look of relief, she starts singing between gritted teeth and Kurt lets her and Blaine sing while he returns to counting.

“ _All your life,_

 _You were only waiting for this moment to arise…_ ”

Kurt’s eyes widen. “Quinn, stop pushing. The head is coming!”

Blaine whistles the melody before spotting a stand-up mirror. “Here, Quinn, do you want to see?”

“Oh my God, no!” Quinn screeches, batting at Blaine’s arm and he sheepishly rolls it away, returning to his post at her shoulders.

“Suction,” Kurt says quietly to Mercedes who is already on it, cleaning the baby’s nose and mouth.

Blaine and Quinn stop singing, focusing on Mercedes and Kurt’s actions as they pull the baby all the way out.

Quinn leans back against Blaine as the baby starts crying.

“Okay, Quinn, okay. It’s okay. We’ve got this,” Kurt says, hands slightly trembling. “It’s a girl!”

Quinn starts crying, but there is a smile on her face as Blaine pats her arm and wipes her face.

Blaine looks up, smiling, towards Kurt, towards his mentor a year his senior. Kurt is crying just as hard as Quinn, beaming at his sister and at his new niece.

“A beautiful baby girl,” he coos at the baby he’s holding while Mercedes clamps the cord. Together, Kurt and Mercedes wrap the baby in a blanket, and Kurt goes to put her in Quinn’s arms.

Quinn embraces her daughter immediately, lost in the wrinkly, adorable little face and Kurt leans to kiss her temple.

“You did it, sis,” he whispers and Quinn turns to look at him, her finger caught in the baby’s strong grasp.

“We did it, big brother,” she whispers back, before returning her gaze to the baby.

Kurt looks over her head to Blaine, who is dutifully filling the chart for Dr. Dalton to peruse later.

The intern looks up and smiles at him, and Kurt feels like his heart is going to jump out of his chest.

—

“What are you doing here, Dr. Hummel?”

Kurt looks up from the Baby’s sleeping face to smile at Nurse Berry. “Quinn says she looks like me,” he says softly. “What do you think?”

Rachel approaches and takes a look at the baby.

“I … guess? Yeah, maybe?”

“Never thought I’d deliver my own niece,” Kurt sniffs and Rachel snorts in laughter.

“On Mother’s Day no less.”

Kurt puts the baby back in her bassinet, kissing his fingertips and pressing them to her tiny nose.

“Back to work, right Nurse Berry?”

“As always, Dr. Hummel.”


	4. Cook!AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It shouldn’t come as a surprise that one of my favorite AUs is when one of them cooks ^^
> 
> Luckily, I have found a bounty of 1990s culinary trends to get inspired ;)

> **_☮  Stylin’ Saturday ☮ : What is your all time favourite klaine au?? Ever imagine what it would be like if i took place in the 90s? *0* WELL NOW’S YOUR CHANCE! Adapt a klaine au (or au’s if you’re feelin it) to the 90s!! Be it 90s!coffeshop au or 90s!superhero au, AS LONG AS IT’S 90S YOU ARE SET!  
> _ **

Kurt prides himself in the fact that he knows that is up.

What is dope.

What is the shittest shit of the moment.

After all, he has to know what is trending if he wants to keep his job at [Sassy](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sassy_\(magazine\)).

Mary Clarke doesn’t give him a lot of leeway, sure, but she is the toughest B in the business, and Kurt knows that he learns a lot with her.

Even when she asks him to organize a phat party for the premiere of some movie–a strange looking but aesthetic one, something about  _scissorhands_?–and Kurt is in charge of finding just the right food for said party.

If his intel is to be believed, and Kurt chooses to believe Elliot and Santana, there is a special trend in reception food that he just has to find and bring to the literal table.

[Pizza bagels](http://www.thefrugalgirl.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/IMG_4686.jpg).

In small portions.

Kurt has to confess, the moment he heard pizza, he was in, but the more he hears about it, the more it makes sense.

The crunch of the oven baked pizza, the softness of the bagel, the delight of both brought together?

Yes, it sounds like the perfect combo.

But where to find them for his phat party in … oh shit, in three days.

Kurt jumps at a phone booth to call Elliot to get a clearer information–his friend had tasted pizza bagels at an art gallery opening, he must know more about where and who to go to.

“Meatpacking District, dawg,” Elliot says in the phone, and Kurt can hear him smiling, it’s eerie.

“Meat Packing? Step off!”

“What? I’m dead serious!”

Kurt frowns at the receiver. “Do you want me to get killed? Is that it?”

“Nope,” Elliot replies, not smiling anymore. “I promise–on my collection of Aloha shirts.”

“Alright, give the address–and if I go missing, you’ll know where to look for me!”

—

To be honest, this part of the Meatpacking District does look better than Kurt remembered it.

As a matter of fact, it looks like this little corner around First and 29th is rising from the ashes, and there are different shops and galleries that Kurt takes note of for later use.

But right now, he has his eyes on one bright yellow shop window.

With an elegant sign above the door that tells him that he has reached his destination.

“Pizza Bites”, it proclaims, with a little pizza marking the i’s dots, and on one glass panel on the door, “smaller in sizes, not in taste!”, and Kurt is already sold on it.

But when he sees the man behind the counter, wearing a striped shirt underneath a dark denim overall, Kurt gets *really* hungry.

For something different than what is presented behind the glass, and that looks fantastic.

Ah, he’s all that! And several bag of chips too.

“Hello there!” the pizza guy says with a charming smile. “Welcome to Pizza Bites.”

“Hi,” Kurt replies, adjusting the chains hanging from his belt.

“How may I help you?” Cute Pizza guy asks, leaning over the counter, and Kurt can read the nametag on his chest.

“Well, Blaine,” Kurt starts, “I am going to need a couple of your little goodies.”

Blaine blinks a couple of times, eyelashes fluttering against his flushed cheeks, and Kurt realizes how it sounds.

“I mean, your balls–bagels! Pizza bagels!”

A surprised laugh comes out of Blaine, and luckily, it dispels some of the tension.

“So you would need a couple of pizza bagels?” Blaine asks, laughter still ringing in his voice and Kurt puts his face in one hand, nodding along. “How much exactly?”

“Enough for a party?” Kurt replies. “A launch party, for a movie, actually.”

Blaine’s eyes widen. “Oooh, alright then.” He pulls a notebook from a back pocket. “Different flavors or just one taste of pizza?”

“What do you suggest?” Kurt asks, leaning against the counter.

Good Lord the man smells of pizza and … berries?

Yum, in any case.

“If I were you, I’d pick at least three kinds of pizza,” Blaine says, moving along the counter to show different options, “to give your guests different options. Like a regular pizza, a veggie one and a … well, more or less healthy one.”

“More or less?” It’s Kurt’s turn to laugh at Blaine, but it’s all in good spirits.

“How healthy can a pizza be, right?”

“Right.”

“Before ordering, do you–do you want to try them?” Blaine offers, looking at Kurt through his eyelashes and wow, those should come with a warning.

“I’d love to.”

Kurt doesn’t know why he feels like he has just been asked on a date.

It really feels like one anyway, when Blaine starts explaining his concept while pulling bagels out of a pizza oven, sensually spreading tomato sauce on it–yes, sensually, shut up–and sprinkling cheese and mushrooms and pepperoni, oh my.

“That smells delicious,” Kurt says breathlessly, mouth already watering.

“Thank you,” Blaine replies, arranging three little pizza bagel slices on a plate, “I worked hard for it to be.”

“I can tell,” Kurt says, but with his mouth full, it sounds more like “I ‘an ‘ell.”

Blaine smiles, picking a slice of pizza bagel himself to munch on it, but Kurt has to admit that he does so much more delicately than himself.

It’s unbearably cute.

“I think this settles it,” Kurt says as he cleans his fingers on a napkin. “That was absolutely delicious, and I can’t think of a more dope dish to offer to our guests.”

Blaine beams at him. “Really? That would be so tight!”

And it would, because it would put Blaine and his delicious food on the map.

Kurt smiles at Blaine without replying for maybe a bit too long.

“Well,” Blaine claps his hands, sending a puff of flour in the air between them and shaking Kurt from his crush-induced trance, “when is your party?”

—

“Yum.”

Kurt laughs at the back of the room, and Blaine is tempted to leave this young actor–Johnny Depp? Really? You’re sticking with that buddy?–to cross the room and see for himself if he could taste that laughter on Kurt’s lips.

But he is a professional, and this is a major opportunity for his business to get to a bigger scale.

“I’m glad you like it,” Blaine replies, letting the actor pluck a couple more of bagel slices onto his napkin before walking around the room with his tray of treats.

“Blaine!” Kurt exclaims, suddenly by his side, looking trill as Hell. “Everybody loves you!”

A beat.

“Loves your pizza!”

Blaine smiles, offering the tray to Kurt.

“I really shouldn’t,” Kurt says, biting his lower lip as he does take a full-cheese bagelza.

Bagelza? Pizzel?

Blaine needs to think it through.

His brain is a bit confused by Kurt’s proximity.

Kurt and his trillness and his awesomeness and his gorgeousness and his obvious delight at eating Blaine’s food.

Blaine would feed him to the Moon and back, given the chance, if only to see that blissed-out look on his face and to hear those noises from his mouth.

Obscene, in the best way possible.

“Goonadatewithme,” Blaine says in one breath, handing the tray to a passing waiter.

Or maybe it was the movie director, God only knows.

“Uh?” Kurt asks, swallowing on his mouthful.

“Would you, um, go on a date? A proper date? With, with me?” Blaine repeats, feeling more foolish by the second.

But Kurt’s eyes widen and his smile does too and suddenly, Blaine breathes with more ease.

“I would love to!” Kurt exclaims, throwing his arms around Blaine’s neck to pull him in a hug.

Blaine hugs him back, appreciating the way Kurt’s body feels against his, before Kurt pulls away.

And then he’s just there, and it’s all so easy to just lean to the side and press a dry, quick kiss to Kurt’s lips.

Easy peezy.

When Kurt kisses back, Blaine smiles into it before deepening it.

Because the kiss does taste of laughter, and cheese, and Blaine’s secret tomato sauce, only better.


End file.
